As the day draws near that my precious Brooks will turn 4 I find myself in a roller coaster of emotions. It shouldn't be such a big deal. He will continue to age each year and that is part of being a mom. BUT, it is a huge deal to me. I remember his birth like it was yesterday and really it would be almost impossible to forget a full day of labor only to have a C-Section 36 hours later.

It was no wonder my dear sweet Brooks had to be extracted from me rather than enter the world in a "normal" fashion. From the first minute Brooks welcomed himself into this world there was little to nothing "normal" about him. My 10 pounds lover, with a full head of black hair, and a cone shaped skull won my heart from the second I laid eyes on him.

Brooks was referred to as the "beautiful baby" in the nursery, as he was twice the size of many of the babies and looked much like a man rather than an infant with his comb-over hairstyle. Brooks had a little bit of jaundice as well, which although not healthy, made him a little bit more beautiful than those babies who were the color they were supposed to be. A tan looks a little better babies too, I guess!

My dear sweet BOY! What? A BOY? Although is was shocking to welcome a BOY into the Doty family (we only "do" girls around here), this BOY would turn out to be a blessing bigger and better than anyone would have ever expected.

This BOY has challenged us like only a BOY can do. He has energy that far exceeds any girl that I've ever met. He has passion and everything he does he does with gusto. My BOY is also tender beyond what a 4 year old BOY typically is. He has feelings for others that run deep and is easily hurt by others as well. My BOY keeps me on my toes, frustrates me to no end and also blesses me more than I deserve.

It's hard to be happy that my precious boy is turning 4 and will soon "need" his Mommy less. Brooks is nearing the 60 pound (no, that is not a typo) mark and is getting harder for me to hold and snuggle. This morning my "little" guy sat on my lap and got his back rubbed. As I ran my fingers through his thick hair and kissed his rather large head, it became so real to me that my baby is no longer a baby and never will be again.

I get so fed up with my kids at times (lots of days, actually) but it became so real to me that I really should be embracing this time because it is going away all too quickly.

My goal (and I will fail only to start again):

Embrace the enthusiasm. Embrace the passion. Embrace the gusto. Embrace the need for Mommy. Embrace the sleepless nights. Embrace the throwing up. Embrace the temper tantrums. Realize this is a season and most likely a season I'll wish I could have back in the future.

Bless you baby boy.

I love you.